Flux It All

Pull Up A Toadstool

Sometimes life has a way of throwing a curve ball

Other times you are the ball, and find yourself hurtling

At what feels like a speed faster than light

Begging for it all to slow down, to be able to catch your breath

Silently shouldering the fear while reassuring them that all is well

Just when you think that you have it all figured out

To a level at which you can ride the wave with a little ease

Yet another wave crashes onto the shore, washing uncertainty through your soul

Making you question things you had just begun to accept

Taking what felt like an anchor in the storm and raising it off the bottom

Just enough to feel the earth unsteady under your feet once more

The break so brief that it may as well be a relentless onslaught of change

About all you can do is hold…

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Glow

New poetry

Pull Up A Toadstool

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Some moments are reminders to slow down, for life moves fast enough

To enjoy the simple things which fill the world with magic

Like the fiery glow of daylight dipping down over the horizon

Or the intoxicating scent of honeysuckle and peonies drifting through the air

Accompanied by the sound of a lone trumpet player in the distance

Warm summer evenings filled with kisses sweeter then raspberry wine

The feel of my lover’s fingers intertwined with mine, like the finest lace

Weaving tenderness clear down to the toes, perhaps into the earth itself

Take in the sight of the gentle breeze ruffling his sun kissed hair as he sits on the park bench

Tune in, be present, these snapshots of life become etched in the heart

Forever coloring the world with memories, and unlocking the doors of possibility

 

 

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Back To My Roots

Even though this site hasn’t been around for all that long, I have recently had a shift in focus. Interestingly enough, I have been thinking of going back to my old site…Pull Up A Toadstool for a while because that is the place where I got started.  Not only that, but it was a place where I posted a lot more creative content as opposed to going for a more polished look. It felt more like me there.

Earlier this week, I accidentally posted to the old site instead of here and found that the many of the people who used to follow me there there were still around. This was encouraging, and in a way served as validation that the way that I had been thinking not only felt right to me, but felt right in terms of people finding and interacting with my content.

It isn’t that I will be closing this site, I’m just not entirely sure what I’ll be doing with it (if anything). In the meantime, I’ll likely be doing posts on Pull Up A Toadstool and reposting here. This seems to be one of those times which most of us go through at one point (or more) in our lives in which we redefine and refine our directions. I’ve found myself feeling way more inclined to delve back into more creative pursuits as my main means of expression. As those who have been following me for a while know, this declaration won’t stop me from coming by to speak my mind about things if something feels important enough to do so.

Life is definitely an interesting journey and I truly appreciate all of you for coming along for this part of mine.

Much love,

Tracy

Like The Tide

In the night, we left this place and drove to the sea

Arriving to a full moon floating over the gentle waves

Like something out of a dreamlike game sequence

So beautiful and ethereal, everything seemed almost unreal

The scene had us in an awestruck state of bliss

Oceanfront oasis with a wall of windows and giant fluffy bed

Facing the moonlit sea, loving one another to the rhythm of the surf

As the sky began to lighten, we moved to the wall of windows

Opening one to fill our already flooded senses with the sound and smell

Of the briny excitement of the purple sky and rushing water

Your arms around me as we stood by the window taking it in

Were all too real as we watched and listened, lips meeting now and then

Until the sun came up over the horizon and the scene faded out of existence

With the ebbing tide, leaving me to wake up in my usual spot

All of it left behind, hopefully to be revisited another night

What a delightful scene to have to vacate in lieu of a rainy day spent in a waiting room.

Changes…shifting…who knows what’s next

Today, I found myself thinking that it felt like it had been a while since I’ve been here to post anything. When I signed in to start writing, I realized just how long. There hasn’t been a gap in writing here which has lasted this long for me in a very long time. Right now, I find myself going through so many changes and shifts on a very personal level that in addition to the lack of energy that I’ve had this week, I find myself struggling for material which doesn’t make me feel like I am laying myself too bare.

While I have always shared a lot of myself here, and even find that my poetry has a tendency to express a lot of the thoughts and emotions which are coloring my world at the moment that I write it, right now, oddly enough I find myself in a space where high levels of sharing are just not what I wish to be doing.  On Monday of this week, my best friend Tabitha and I made our way to my YouTube channel to talk about listening to our bodies. Both of us have had some chronic auto-immune issues for a long time now, and did not often discuss it.

A few months ago, she suggested that we take to YouTube and have an honest discussion about these issues because we know that there are a lot of people out there who are trying to strike that balance between productivity and honoring ourselves. She and I have both learned…more than once…over the years that the more we keep pushing, no matter what the motivation, the more time that goes by before we are ready to tackle the things on our agendas. We definitely got gabby, so I will warn you the the video is long (like…an hour long), so no hard feelings if that’s too much time for you to wish to put in, but if you should wish to check it out, here’s a link.

As for the rest of what is happening with me at the moment, it’s not something that I feel inclined to share. This seems to be the trend with me lately and I do not know if/when this will be changing. For the time being, it is pretty safe to say that this space will be devoted more to updates, short fiction, and poetry. I know that this is a big change from my work in the past and I would love it if some of you would come along for the ride. To be fair, it will be a little while before I am posting the new type of material on a regular basis because I am going through some additional health stuff (I’ll be okay)…it’ll just take a little while to get everything normalized because I have to undergo a procedure sometime in the next few months. I should know more about when it will be taking place and recovery time next week.

So, for now…life is a little bit on hold as I conserve energy and time to do the things which I need to do in the meantime. I will be here a little more regularly than I have been this week though. This week has been devoted to sorting through things in my mind and heart, as well as listening to my own body to make some important decisions and figure out how to roll with some important realizations.

Yes, I’m aware that this post is a bit vague. I promise you that this isn’t a cliffhanger with which I’ll tease with the idea that I’ll be back at some future point to share all of the details. I can’t even say for sure what this space will morph into as time goes by…if I’ll get back into writing more in depth personal growth pieces or completely change and turn this into a mostly creative space filled with creative writing and art. Only time will tell. All I can say for sure is that it seems definite that I am entering into the next phase of my life. While it’s a little unnerving it is without doubt exciting.

Take good care of yourselves…till next time.