Back To My Roots

Even though this site hasn’t been around for all that long, I have recently had a shift in focus. Interestingly enough, I have been thinking of going back to my old site…Pull Up A Toadstool for a while because that is the place where I got started.  Not only that, but it was a place where I posted a lot more creative content as opposed to going for a more polished look. It felt more like me there.

Earlier this week, I accidentally posted to the old site instead of here and found that the many of the people who used to follow me there there were still around. This was encouraging, and in a way served as validation that the way that I had been thinking not only felt right to me, but felt right in terms of people finding and interacting with my content.

It isn’t that I will be closing this site, I’m just not entirely sure what I’ll be doing with it (if anything). In the meantime, I’ll likely be doing posts on Pull Up A Toadstool and reposting here. This seems to be one of those times which most of us go through at one point (or more) in our lives in which we redefine and refine our directions. I’ve found myself feeling way more inclined to delve back into more creative pursuits as my main means of expression. As those who have been following me for a while know, this declaration won’t stop me from coming by to speak my mind about things if something feels important enough to do so.

Life is definitely an interesting journey and I truly appreciate all of you for coming along for this part of mine.

Much love,

Tracy

Like The Tide

In the night, we left this place and drove to the sea

Arriving to a full moon floating over the gentle waves

Like something out of a dreamlike game sequence

So beautiful and ethereal, everything seemed almost unreal

The scene had us in an awestruck state of bliss

Oceanfront oasis with a wall of windows and giant fluffy bed

Facing the moonlit sea, loving one another to the rhythm of the surf

As the sky began to lighten, we moved to the wall of windows

Opening one to fill our already flooded senses with the sound and smell

Of the briny excitement of the purple sky and rushing water

Your arms around me as we stood by the window taking it in

Were all too real as we watched and listened, lips meeting now and then

Until the sun came up over the horizon and the scene faded out of existence

With the ebbing tide, leaving me to wake up in my usual spot

All of it left behind, hopefully to be revisited another night

What a delightful scene to have to vacate in lieu of a rainy day spent in a waiting room.

Changes…shifting…who knows what’s next

Today, I found myself thinking that it felt like it had been a while since I’ve been here to post anything. When I signed in to start writing, I realized just how long. There hasn’t been a gap in writing here which has lasted this long for me in a very long time. Right now, I find myself going through so many changes and shifts on a very personal level that in addition to the lack of energy that I’ve had this week, I find myself struggling for material which doesn’t make me feel like I am laying myself too bare.

While I have always shared a lot of myself here, and even find that my poetry has a tendency to express a lot of the thoughts and emotions which are coloring my world at the moment that I write it, right now, oddly enough I find myself in a space where high levels of sharing are just not what I wish to be doing.  On Monday of this week, my best friend Tabitha and I made our way to my YouTube channel to talk about listening to our bodies. Both of us have had some chronic auto-immune issues for a long time now, and did not often discuss it.

A few months ago, she suggested that we take to YouTube and have an honest discussion about these issues because we know that there are a lot of people out there who are trying to strike that balance between productivity and honoring ourselves. She and I have both learned…more than once…over the years that the more we keep pushing, no matter what the motivation, the more time that goes by before we are ready to tackle the things on our agendas. We definitely got gabby, so I will warn you the the video is long (like…an hour long), so no hard feelings if that’s too much time for you to wish to put in, but if you should wish to check it out, here’s a link.

As for the rest of what is happening with me at the moment, it’s not something that I feel inclined to share. This seems to be the trend with me lately and I do not know if/when this will be changing. For the time being, it is pretty safe to say that this space will be devoted more to updates, short fiction, and poetry. I know that this is a big change from my work in the past and I would love it if some of you would come along for the ride. To be fair, it will be a little while before I am posting the new type of material on a regular basis because I am going through some additional health stuff (I’ll be okay)…it’ll just take a little while to get everything normalized because I have to undergo a procedure sometime in the next few months. I should know more about when it will be taking place and recovery time next week.

So, for now…life is a little bit on hold as I conserve energy and time to do the things which I need to do in the meantime. I will be here a little more regularly than I have been this week though. This week has been devoted to sorting through things in my mind and heart, as well as listening to my own body to make some important decisions and figure out how to roll with some important realizations.

Yes, I’m aware that this post is a bit vague. I promise you that this isn’t a cliffhanger with which I’ll tease with the idea that I’ll be back at some future point to share all of the details. I can’t even say for sure what this space will morph into as time goes by…if I’ll get back into writing more in depth personal growth pieces or completely change and turn this into a mostly creative space filled with creative writing and art. Only time will tell. All I can say for sure is that it seems definite that I am entering into the next phase of my life. While it’s a little unnerving it is without doubt exciting.

Take good care of yourselves…till next time.

What Is That Nut Up To Now?

Over the past week, I’ve been pulling all of the poetry that I had ever written and published to my old blog “Pull Up A Toadstool”, and am thrilled that this part of the project has been completed. I have it all printed out, ready for organization and editing. The last step will be to figure out a good program to format it to publish on Amazon as an e-book. My best friend told or sent me the name of something that she had heard works pretty well. As per usual, I may have to ask her to send me the name again because as I tend to do…I wrote it down on a slip of paper. If you’re anything like I am, you know how those little slips of paper have a way of running away from you.

The editing and formatting process will likely take about a month to get sorted out, but I wanted to post about this today for a few reasons. The first is that I’m excited about getting it all rounded up in one place for all of you. The second is to hold myself to some sort of a deadline on this project. I’ve been pretty good about sticking to deadlines for a while now, which is good. Just wanting to hold myself accountable on this one and get it done because it would be waaay too easy to skip learning the whole formatting and e-publishing process, and I have other things waiting in the wings.

One of those things is another life coaching certification course.  A few weeks ago, I finished the Life Purpose Coaching certification. This one will be to do life coaching for groups, which is pretty cool. Another upcoming project will be to send out my novel query package to some more agents and publishers in the Fall. I just finished one round last week. The other things which I have sitting here on my plate and am working on in between work and my other projects are to keep up with a semi-regular art practice and to keep learning to play the guitar.

Admittedly, the poor guitar sat untouched by anyone other than someone who is way better at it than I could hope to be for several years for over a month. Yes, yes, that is a bit of jealousy that you detect over his amazing skills. Every time he touches the thing, I sit in a state of flux between swoon and oh my god…what the hell was I thinking. All joking aside, I feel fortunate to have someone close who is this skilled for those times when I hit rough patches. Tonight though, I finally took it out and spent the better part of a few hours in between clients relearning the two cords which I had learned and forgotten and messing around with the free version of the Yousician app. Let me just say…I’m saving up for a full version of the app because it is that awesome. Within minutes I was learning a lot and it didn’t take too terribly long to get a sound which resembled something other than a dying animal.

I’ll also be getting back into recording some video’s with my best friend and partner in The Sisters In The Shadows and The Sisters Of Wyrd. We’re planning our next recording session for Monday, and this time we even have a topic picked out…gasp! For the two of us to have a topic picked out is amazing. I seem to collect amazing friends with whom conversations seem to go something like this:

Me: Hey, what do you think we should do tomorrow?

Friend: I don’t know. Did you have anything in mind?

Me: No, if I did I wouldn’t have asked.

Friend: Shit, now what do we do?

Me: Wing it, I suppose.

Friend: Okay.

This is no joke. If I had a few bucks for every conversation like this which has happened just in the last year alone, I’d definitely have enough saved up to take the beach vacation I’ve been dying to take for the past few years.

As if that wasn’t enough, I’ll be diving into some new fiction projects that I’ve been thinking about for a while. One of those is to start the second novel in the “Twisted Faith” series, and the others are short stories for use on this blog, for Sisters In The Shadows annual spookfest, and a few top secret ideas which I’m keeping up my sleeve for a while. This just covers the work stuff (most of which feels like play honestly). There are some personal things which I’m really looking forward to as well. I’ll be getting some company in a few weeks and doing a little traveling later this year…not to mention the play time that I get in locally.

Speaking of play time, I need to wrap this up and see if I can try to capture some elusive sleep. I have a play date with my sister tomorrow. We’re going to head out and pay The Herbiary (which is an amazing local store which carries almost every herb and essential oil you could wish for) a visit in the afternoon, and who knows what else we’ll find to do. Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone. See you back here next week. Take care of yourselves!

Till next time…