NaPoWriMo ~ Day 11

Today’s prompt at NaPoWriMo is to write a Bop. To find out more about this form of poetry, please click the link above.

What Do I Want?

Behind all of the uncertainty which slides from my mouth

and often blurs the dividing lines of yes and no in my own mind

what I truly desire when it comes to love seems almost too simplistic. Yet,

my words can make it difficult to understand for those who wish to draw near

because sometimes I allow my inner fear-speak to project outwardly and I

express the desire for more distance than I need, and seem to eschew commitment.

 

Nothing is set in stone, the only requirement is that the love is real.

 

My need for space is actual, but the whole truth is that I could someday share

if the timing and conditions were right, even though sometimes what I say is

that I always wish to live alone which isn’t a full and correct expression. The truth

is that my wish is to not feel penned in and suffocated by the presence of

another. My need is to have time and space to create, autonomy to be,

to breathe. More accurate than a desire to always live alone is a desire for something

healthy, respectful, and lacking co-dependence. After the inner fear-speak has been

expressed, how do I explain what’s in my heart without sounding a fool?

 

Nothing is set in stone, the only requirement is that the love is real.

 

The only real answer seems to be to explain, and hope that the mixed signals

are received for what they were. To somehow impart that my mind doesn’t

operate on nevers and no ways. That those implications were birthed from fear

and insecurities of the past which have no business being in today. All that matters

are the feelings and the actions shown. The rest will come as it is meant to. Matters of

the heart are always fraught with risk, but are worth every one. This is what I want.

 

Nothing is set in stone, the only requirement is that the love is real.

 

2 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo ~ Day 11

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