Renewal

Though the sky is grey, with the streets soaked in a heavy coating of rain

And the air filled with the clanging of hammers on metal, emanating from construction

Creating a picture like something out of a gritty Marvel Comics scene

My eyes see a reminder of life which is ever in a state of renewal

The dim light soothing in a way, allowing the soul to be quiet and reflective

While the work down the block continues, creating something new and shiny

As the rain washes away the grime of the days just past, which were sunny yet tumultuous

Time to be still and breathe in the simple pleasures of day to day life, which are beyond measure

Sitting back, breathing…in and out…as the brisk wind blows in new beginnings

 

 

 

 

Emerging

As the tender young buds spring to life on the trees

It is a reminder that the world can ever be seen through fresh eyes

Never losing sight of the promise of a new beginning

Believing that life holds in store beauty of which the like has yet to be experienced

Sometimes during bleak, bare seasons through which all must pass

It can be hard to imagine that the sun will shine and blossoms open

To reveal what has been germinating, deep below the surface

The best things come after the frost has decimated the landscape

Making way for the sweet, vibrant tenderness of life anew.

 

 

Too Soon

She has sought the light since time began

Yet darkness ever reaches out to touch her soul

When the glimmer gets just bright enough to put a sparkle in her eyes

Tendrils of grey snake their way around her heart

As a reminder that her time has not yet arrived

There is more fire to walk through – for whatever the reason

Her mind often wonders how many tests she must take

Before getting her pass to walk in the brightness for more than just a moment

Whether sunshine or moonlight matters not to her

Only that her heart be warmed by the brilliance of true joy

That her body can stand next to the heat of love for long enough

To form an ember which glows, instead of only a spark

Before being extinguished by the cold mists of the bitter side of truth

Pondering when the sweetness of life shall pay more than a passing visit, she mourns

Each and every pinprick of light which has faded way too soon

 

Time To Be Still

In the past week, I have been envisioning myself someplace quiet…someplace natural, like a cabin with a mountain stream running by or an oceanfront cottage. Life has been so busy, with so many changes, that I have reached a point in which more than anything else, the need to disconnect from everything for a few days is becoming paramount. At some point this year I’ll be making a getaway, but I’m going to need a break before that. It isn’t that my life is bad…far from it.

Life’s actually pretty great overall. I’d be remiss however, if I left out that there have been some big challenges in recent weeks which have left me drained. For the next little while, I plan on scaling back my online presence. I’ll still be posting here Monday through Friday because you know how it is for writers…we just have to write. What I’ll be scaling back is my presence on social media and online forums.

Starting on Friday, I’m taking a week-long vacation from my online presence…other than this blog. Next Monday and Tuesday I plan to take for myself in the real world as well, to simply be. It is time to regroup and recharge. My company for those days will be a good book, my art supplies, a bubble bath or two, and my bed (I plan on sleeping A LOT). I simply need to be still for a little while. To be with myself and my thoughts…to have time to meditate, read, and paint, without keeping an eye on the clock. As I go through this week, I’ll be daydreaming about it and reminding myself that a respite is only a week away.

What do you do when you need to recharge?

 

Let’s Get Caught Up

It has been an interesting few weeks. There has been a lot going on, both internally and externally. Last week, I had an almost four day long migraine which really took me out of commission. After the migraine began to fade, I realized that I was in the midst of a major flare-up of my autoimmune issues. While I am feeling a good bit better now, it is still lingering…yes, life goes on.

One of the things which I had to do this week was to do something about my old bed which I’d had for a little under five years. It was creating more pain and pressure points than were acceptable. Even though I was a bit hesitant, I decided to order a mattress online…one of the memory foam ones that come in a box. Last night was my first night on it, so it’s a bit too early for a review, but I will say that my first night was pretty comfortable. Thankfully a good friend of mine was around to help me to take out the old mattress on Saturday. My delivery was delayed a bit, so I slept on my couch for three nights which did my already aching back no favors but it’s feeling a little better already.

When the new mattress got here yesterday, the FedEx guy was nice enough to wheel it into the bedroom for me. I was able to wrestle it out of the box and up onto the bed frame…but in typical me style I laid it out incorrectly and found myself in a pickle. I needed to flip the thing and it was unfolding and inflating fast…and I just wasn’t able to do it. Luckily for me, I was talking to a new friend on the phone when all of this was going on and they came to the rescue…which I am still pleasantly surprised by. They did not have to do this…and they drove 20 minutes just to come and help me out before they had to go to work. Wow, talk about nice.

The friend which helped me take out my old mattress contacted me a little later in the afternoon to let me know that he was available if I needed help. I have to say that I feel pretty lucky to have people in my life who are willing to help out. My sister had told me that she would help too, which means a lot to me. She is in the midst of an even worse flare up than I am, so I was beyond hesitant to call upon her to help me wrestle an 80 pound mattress!

I was able to have a several really good days last week, even though I’ve been in this flare up. I got to spend a few evenings with my sister…talking and laughing…which is always great. Plus, I got to hang out with one of my friends on Sunday and binge watch Star Trek Next Generation. Also played around on Sunday and tried to duplicate a completely raw vegan dish I had at a restaurant back in February. It was a success! I raw zucchini noodles, sun dried tomato marinara, cashew (ricotta) cheese, and pesto. It was beyond delicious.

Didn’t get to spend a lot of time this week practicing guitar, due to the migraine and body pain but I did get a little in. Yesterday evening, for the first time in months…I dragged out a canvas and my watercolors to start a new abstract painting. Let me tell you, that felt so good! I only got to work on it for about 30 minutes, but what a wonderful 30 minutes!

All in all, life has been pretty good, flare and all. Things are going well, and I have a lot to feel excited about. I’m sure that I’m missing something, but the post is getting long anyway. So, I’ll take that as my cue to wrap it up for now. I hope that all of you are doing well and that you are finding happiness in each day, no matter how simple or small the pleasure is.

Much love,

Tracy