Today, I found myself thinking that it felt like it had been a while since I’ve been here to post anything. When I signed in to start writing, I realized just how long. There hasn’t been a gap in writing here which has lasted this long for me in a very long time. Right now, I find myself going through so many changes and shifts on a very personal level that in addition to the lack of energy that I’ve had this week, I find myself struggling for material which doesn’t make me feel like I am laying myself too bare.
While I have always shared a lot of myself here, and even find that my poetry has a tendency to express a lot of the thoughts and emotions which are coloring my world at the moment that I write it, right now, oddly enough I find myself in a space where high levels of sharing are just not what I wish to be doing. On Monday of this week, my best friend Tabitha and I made our way to my YouTube channel to talk about listening to our bodies. Both of us have had some chronic auto-immune issues for a long time now, and did not often discuss it.
A few months ago, she suggested that we take to YouTube and have an honest discussion about these issues because we know that there are a lot of people out there who are trying to strike that balance between productivity and honoring ourselves. She and I have both learned…more than once…over the years that the more we keep pushing, no matter what the motivation, the more time that goes by before we are ready to tackle the things on our agendas. We definitely got gabby, so I will warn you the the video is long (like…an hour long), so no hard feelings if that’s too much time for you to wish to put in, but if you should wish to check it out, here’s a link.
As for the rest of what is happening with me at the moment, it’s not something that I feel inclined to share. This seems to be the trend with me lately and I do not know if/when this will be changing. For the time being, it is pretty safe to say that this space will be devoted more to updates, short fiction, and poetry. I know that this is a big change from my work in the past and I would love it if some of you would come along for the ride. To be fair, it will be a little while before I am posting the new type of material on a regular basis because I am going through some additional health stuff (I’ll be okay)…it’ll just take a little while to get everything normalized because I have to undergo a procedure sometime in the next few months. I should know more about when it will be taking place and recovery time next week.
So, for now…life is a little bit on hold as I conserve energy and time to do the things which I need to do in the meantime. I will be here a little more regularly than I have been this week though. This week has been devoted to sorting through things in my mind and heart, as well as listening to my own body to make some important decisions and figure out how to roll with some important realizations.
Yes, I’m aware that this post is a bit vague. I promise you that this isn’t a cliffhanger with which I’ll tease with the idea that I’ll be back at some future point to share all of the details. I can’t even say for sure what this space will morph into as time goes by…if I’ll get back into writing more in depth personal growth pieces or completely change and turn this into a mostly creative space filled with creative writing and art. Only time will tell. All I can say for sure is that it seems definite that I am entering into the next phase of my life. While it’s a little unnerving it is without doubt exciting.
Take good care of yourselves…till next time.